One Sure Key to Successful Relationships
We will all agree that relationships have hit the rock bottom and many of us have paid or a paying dearly for entering them with the wrong people. We celebrate marriage ceremonies every week and wish the newly married ones well. But what I have come to realize is that most of these marriages never last long. Many promise to love, respect and stick to and with each other no matter what, only for the whole thing to fall apart before we are done celebrating.
Divorce rates are as high as they could be and many homes have broken and fallen apart due to toxic relationships. Many are not willing to fight for their relationships and are head over heels running away from them at the slightest misunderstanding. While some are enduring rather than enjoying their relationships, others are busy doing all they can just to fit in. Many are in bondage, slavery and are taking abuse and embracing all manner of mistreatments from their partners. They don’t know how to loose and set themselves free. Children have been on the receiving end and many have ended up growing with only one parent, orphaned or even dead.
On the other hand, there are those of us who have been thrown into total confusion and have been left wondering, what’s the point of getting into a relationship or getting married if the result is hurt and pain? The truth is that there is a lot of instability in relationships and most people are not ready to confront this reality. We have decided to accept and live with things as they are. It does not bother us anymore and we aren’t ready to fight for the right thing. Many have died, lost their properties, aborted, killed and destroyed their destinies just by marrying or engaging themselves with the wrong people. We have been deceived by physical appearances, material things and selfish gains and many have paid or are paying dearly for it. It’s no doubt that deception has entered the world and people, including believers, are being or have been swept away by this great shake up. There is great danger and we cannot close our eyes and let it consume us and our generation.
Ahab married Jezebel and she became a great snare to him and his generation. She lured him into false worship and idolatry and what’s worse was that it did not just affect Ahab and his family, it affected the whole nation of Israel and they paid dearly for it. Likewise, when we enter into wrong relationships with people whom God has not approved, knowingly or unknowingly, we begin to court trouble. And it can cause many people to suffer. In fact, it has caused many to suffer.
You shall make no covenant with them, nor with their gods. They shall not dwell in your land, lest they make you sin against Me. For if you serve their gods, it will surely be a snare to you ~ Exodus 23:32- 33
God had warned the children of Israel against associating themselves with foreigners because they would lead them to worship other gods and eventually forget about Him, but they never heeded to this. For this reason, they paid dearly for it. This is a proof that we should and we need to be very careful before we associate or enter into relationships or any kind of covenant with people we know nothing about. It can cost us much.
The Devil came and lured Eve into sin by showing her something that was good in appearance, good for food and desirable for gaining wisdom. It means that Eve was only out to satisfy her flesh and by so acting, she became selfish. Selfishness is one sin the Devil taught man and it did not just affect Eve alone, but also her husband and the entire human race. We ended up soaked in sin and it’s this same sin that is haunting us even today. If we can be honest with ourselves, we would realize that many of us enter into relationships for reasons that are not far from those of Eve; lust of the flesh, selfishness and materialism. If we are to do some statistics, we would realize that most of us enter into relationships because whether conscious of it or not, we have a selfish desire deep in our hearts that we want to satisfy. We get into them clothed with pure selfishness and not genuine reasons and the moment we realize that nothing is coming out of it, we quit. Others sell their souls to the Devil and pledge to worship him as long as they have what they want. But what happens when everything falls apart? This is the kind of house that has been built on a sinking sand and it can fall anytime.
God, our ultimate source, wants us to enjoy relationships, not to endure them. He wants us to fulfil our divine assignments with our partners, but not to live like people who don’t know why we exist. The fact that there is a lot of instability in relationships means that the relationship between God and man is already broken. When this relationship is broken, every other relationship breaks. One thing the enemy managed to accomplish in the Garden of Eden was to break the fellowship between God and man and until today, he still manages to do it without much hustle. Why is this so? It’s because we have been hijacked by the world. Our minds have been corrupted and so are our hearts. We do not truly love God as we ought to and our personal relationship with Him is nothing to write home about. This is why it’s very easy for the enemy to deceive us with what our hearts yearn and look for – that which they seek for more than God. We tend to think we will be in a better position if we get all that the world offers, but we only enter into the enemy’s trap and needless to say, we pay dearly for it. Soon, the peace, happiness, and joy goes away and we begin to wonder what’s happening; the simple answer is that it came from the enemy, not God, and sadly, many have fallen prey.
The good news, however, is that Jesus came to restore that which was lost in the garden. Believing in Jesus gives us access to God and the fellowship is restored. It is our individual responsibility to guard our hearts with vigilance. If they are sold out to God, the enemy cannot succeed in distracting us with the things of the world with the aim of breaking our fellowship with the Lord. This is why as Paul says, we need to set our eyes on the things above not below. What we can see with our physical eyes is only temporary and can’t last long, but what we can perceive spiritually is everlasting.
The bottom line is that, we need to go back to God and allow Him to work on us – to transform us so that we can be like Christ. If our relationship with God isn’t right, nothing else will be right. If our fellowship with God is broken, even with our partners it will be broken. If it is strained, even with our partners, it will be strained. There is no shortcut to this. It is also extremely important to seek God’s help and counsel before we enter into any kind of relationship. If we enter or commit to them because of selfish reasons, lust of the flesh or material gain as we have seen, we totally miss the mark. Entering into any covenant or relationship without God’s approval is very dangerous, and as He warned the Israelites, it will be fatal for us.
Enough said.
